An Open Letter to Dog Owners - From Your Dog
Dear Pet Parent,
First let me start off by saying thank you. Your love for me is evident, with the walking we do together and the food you provide and those awesome belly rubs! But there is something that has been really bugging me, and I'm not alone when I tell you this: we dogs hate the costumes for dogs you make us wear!
Look, its not that I don't appreciate all the compliments and extra attention, but let's face it, most costumes for dogs are soooooo uncomfortable. They're itchy, they bind in all the wrong places and I really can't look very menacing dressed as a bumble bee when that snooty neighbor cat comes struttin' around. So, I am begging you (yes, I know-I do that a lot): forget the pet costumes for dogs and please use Pet Paint instead!
There is nothing cooler available when you want to dress me up and show me off. You can really customize the way I look with Pet Paint. I'll guarantee that at our next doggy dash not one other dog is going to look anything like me. And you don't have to worry if I lick at it. Its completely safe for dogs; even that guy you call a vet agrees and has approved for you to go ahead and use it. By the way, I did lick that schnauzer down the block when she was wearing some Pet Paint and I couldn't get it off at all. Dang it.
Anyhow, I know that you drop a pretty penny on those costumes for Halloween and Christmas every year (money you could be using for more chew toys but that's a whole other letter) and I'm flattered that you think about me so much. But me chewing them to shreds hasn't proven to be effective in getting you to stop buying or even making homemade dog costumes so more extreme measures may need to be taken. Save yourself the trouble and just get the Pet Paint. You'll hear no complaints from me about it.
So, in conclusion, if you would like for me to enjoy you dressing me up, as much as you do, several times a year, use Pet Paint instead. Its fun, safe, comes in a ton of different colors (so I'm told) and I promise I will let you show me off to your heart's content without complaint.